So, needless to say, I was totally unprepared for the attack on my flesh that happened in my parent's garden last week. I spent some time there while they were at the lake, staking tomato plants and trimming away dead leaves. During that session, some creature obviously decided to crawl into my clothing and have a smorgasbord.
It was a sneaky bastard though, as I didn't even realize the damage until I was getting into the shower that night. As I took off my clothes, I noted red marks on my belly. Looking closer, I saw more on my hips and-- good God my ass looked like a cup of scalding hot coffee had splashed on it and left a bunch of red marks!
Now remember, I am a nurse and my husband is a paramedic, and we both work with the public quite a bit. So my brain immediately assumed one of us had brought home bed bugs from work. I threw open the bathroom door and hollered at my husband to get out of bed. Turning the light on as he blinked back sleep, I started searching the covers and turning over the mattress, sure I was going to find something crawling.
"What. In the hell. Are you doing." my husband asked.
I lifted up my nightgown and pointed at my pock-stricken abdomen, panic in my eyes.
"Those aren't bed bugs you fool. They are either spider or chigger bites".
Great. Now I felt so much better. I mean, what the hell is a chigger, anyway? It sounds just as bad as "bed bug" to be honest.
But the more I thought about it, I realized I didn't have any bites on my extremities, so it most likely was something inside my clothing while I was working outside. Relieved, I went back to the bathroom and finished my shower.
Over the next few days, the bites turned into hives, spreading and itching like crazy. I now have a new respect for people who have had to deal with skin conditions throughout their life because I was miserable. And the bites were in horrible places- under my boob, along my groin line, and all over my rear end. Not exactly places I can scratch in public or at work without getting a look or two...
I went to Walmart and literally bought one of everything they had in the "anti-itch" aisle. Most of these were creams, and I lathered them on consistently, hoping to quell the urge to take my toothbrush to places it has never been before.... Yesterday, I finally started to really get worried, because the bites on my abdomen were getting worse instead of better. Which didn't make sense at first because those were the bites that I had been consistently applying cream to.
So I broke down and did something I rarely do-I asked my husband for his opinion. He took one look and said, " Calamine lotion and Benadryl. You need to dry them out". Huh- that made sense actually. I hate it when that happens.
Calamine was the one thing I had bought that day at Walmart that was still unopened. Why hadn't I used it? I don't know. Maybe because it was the "old school" treatment, and I thought the newer stuff would work better. I mean, I remember my mom and Grandma dotting my mosquito bites as a child with the pink liquid on a cotton ball. Back then, Calamine, Phisoderm, and Bacitracin fixed everything!
And sure enough, the next morning my hives were less raw, and I wasn't having to literally sit on my hands to prevent myself from scratching. I don't know who was more relieved- me or my toothbrush.
Today's picture represents an oldie but a goodie. Yes, the pink liquid gets on everything, including your clothes. But sometimes an old remedy is still the best. So now I will be sure to always have a bottle of Calamine lotion handy- it will sit right next to the Bacitracin on the bathroom shelf.
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