It's something I now have some familiarity with, but today was different than the others. This morning, when the alarm went off at 4:45 AM, it wasn't a 5K or even triathlon that I put gear on for. Today I had a new goal.
13.1 miles of nothing but running.
I ate my oatmeal with Chia seeds and a banana, drank my coffee, then made sure I took care of what had tripped me up on my last long run- there would be no stopping to poop during the 1/2 marathon for this girl!
My race was called The Queen Bee, a half-marathon for women that some of my wonderful friends suggested I look into. The venue was downtown Cincinnati, Ohio. This is the home of the famous Flying Pig Marathon, who drove today's inaugural all-for-women event.
Two thousand, five-hundred and nineteen women, to be exact. Holy cow. That's a lot of girl power. The start and finish line were located at Horseshoe casino, and as I walked towards the packet pick-up line, I was starting to feel a bit under dressed.
There were tutus and tiaras everywhere, as well as hundreds of bee-themed costumes. One woman who had to be at least 60 had a full-blown Wonder Woman outfit on, cape and all. Glitter and sparkles prevailed, and there was enough estrogen floating around to make any sane man run for the hills. But there they were, husbands, brothers, fathers, and friends- all lined up to support this massive wave of female power.
Now, being one who appreciates being organized, I cannot express how impressed I was with how this race was put on. I would have never guessed there were so many runners until I walked up to the starting gate. I had literally walked right up to get my race packet, and hadn't run into any trouble since then. Along with your race packet you received a goodie bag full of tons of free stuff. On the way to the starting line, they had school buses lined up with signs posted along the outside. All you had to do was walk up to the bus window which had your race (aka "bib") number on it, and a volunteer would take your bag and hold onto it in the bus while police stood by until you finished your run.
With so many runners, you can't have everyone start at once, so each person was assigned a "corral"- or "hive" for today- to start off in. These were clearly marked sections of road along the starting area, allowing everyone to cross the finish line without running each other over- literally.
By mile two, I could tell this race was different than anything I had done before. They had distractions plotted along our route every half-mile or so, helping to keep the psychological numbness and fatigue at bay. Sometimes it was a lone guitar or trumpet player, other times it was a full blown mariachi band or gospel church choir. There were water stops every mile, and they handed out all sorts of fuel at different portions of the run- Twizzlers, Jelly Beans, Swedish Fish, orange slices, and of course energy gels.
But some of the most appreciated handouts in my mind came from the Proctor & Gamble sponsors. Running in the cool morning air, my nose had started to run- an annoyance that is just...annoying when you are trying to concentrate. Then, magically, a line of volunteers pulling tissues out of boxes and holding them out for runners appeared. It was like they were reading my mind! The second P&G save came towards the end, when my Chapstick had started to wear off. All the gels had done their toll, and the sweat rolling onto my lips was starting to sting. Lo and Behold, another line of volunteers appeared with factory-sized tubs of Vaseline that they had dipped tongue depressors into and were handing out to runners- oh relief!
I thoroughly enjoyed the distractions. Thousands of spectators were along the roads, from family to people who lived and worked in the neighborhoods we ran in. They had signs to spur us on, from the traditional ones to the more..inventive. My favorites:
"Hurry up Mom. Dad doesn't change diapers and I totally just pooped."
" Smile if you aren't wearing underwear"
" Run fast...I just farted".
Kids lined up at the side of the road, holding their hands out to catch high-fives from the runners. I hit every one of those kids that I could, happy to see children out supporting physical exercise, and hoping that they would remember this day and eventually run one themselves.
There were adults in costumes along the way too, many in bee costumes. The Firemen were all out in front of their firehouse cheering us on, and one woman went totally off course to run over, grab one of the men, and kiss him full on the mouth. Must have been all the estrogen...
The most surprising of all distractions though came in a more...seedy part of town. An older gentlemen came out onto the sidewalk and started to dance to the music being played. He must have been enspired by all the cat calls and cheers, because he promptly decided to drop his drawers and continue dancing...that kept most of us giggling for at least half a mile.
By Mile 10, I was starting to dwindle, but suddenly I noticed a yellow sign with black and yellow balloons bobbing just ahead. This was something else I learened today- most big marathons have Pacers (today they were "Pacer Bees"). These are professional runners hired by the sponsors that run the marathon, but carry a sign which states a particular pace. They use a GPS tracker app to ensure they keep that pace, which then helps runners know how they are doing. There are two Bees for each pace, so that they can take turns holding the sign.
My goal at the start line was to come in no slower than an 11 minute mile pace, or about 2:24. I had passed the 2:20 Bees a few miles back, which meant....that must be the 2:15 Bees that were in sight. That meant I was closing in on at least a 10:30 pace. Suddenly, I had a little more motivation, and kicked into my "5K race pace". As I came up next to them, I exclaimed, "I've been chasing you ladies for 10 miles!". They laughed, and told me that they were actually about a minute ahead of their pace. These were two amazing women, who said something encouraging to every person they passed or got passed by. Suddenly one of them said, "Almost there ladies! Two miles to go! Keep those shoulders relaxed and use those butt muscles and arms to help push you through!"
Only two more miles. That meant I had officially already run farther than I have ever done in my life. But as elated as I was in my mind, my body was screaming at me. I knew I could probably use another energy gel, but my stomach had already absorbed three of them and some Swedish Fish, and I was afraid I might wind up puking at the Finish Line...
One more mile to go. The longest. Mile. Ever. But, again to the sponsor's credit, they had people all along the last half-mile cheering and pushing you on. Volunteers and spectators alike cheered not only for their family and friends, but anyone who wore a bib that day. I cannot tell you how much that helped. I have always tried to finish my races strong at a sprint, but the most I could make my legs do today was a semi-fast jog. But I crossed that damn finish line, without walking at all through the entire race, and most importantly-without puking. Whew.
I received my medal from the line of Air Force men in uniform who were handing each one out with a "Congratulations Ma'am. Great job". Then I half-walked and half-limped back to the casino, where my car and band-aids were waiting for me.
Today's pic celebrates not only achieving another personal goal, but of seeing such a mass of women come out and do something spectacular. Running 13.1 miles is no joke. If you have done it, you are awesome. Period. The winning race time was one hour and twenty-two minutes. If you were wondering, that was not me. I crossed the finish line at 2:13, which meant I had surpassed my goal and had a 10:11/mile average. I placed 772 out of all 2519 women, and 177 out of 482 in the 35-39 age group division. The only bad news? They had sold out of the "13.1" stickers, so I'm gonna have to go buy one at the mall. But no matter- I will display it proudly, and will have a new respect for those that have one on their car. Now, after pizza, two beers, and Ben&Jerry's ice cream, I am going to sleep like a log, and wake up tomorrow to start planning my next adventure. Thanks to all my friends and family who supported and encouraged me to put this notch in my belt!
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