Day 31

My grandparents on my mothers' side had 7 children. Five boys and two girls. And although they remain close in spirit, their lives have taken them from one end of the country to the other. I have an uncle in Hawaii, two in California, one in Minnesota, and both an aunt and uncle in Florida. 

The good part about this is I have family in some great vacation spots. The bad part is we rarely get to see each other. The 7 of them actually do a pretty good job visiting each other here and there once a year or so, but as you can imagine getting the whole clan together is quite a task.

Tonight I had the pleasure of sitting around the dinner table with all of them. My cousin is getting married in Cocoa Beach tomorrow and the entire 7 have made it for her special day. They haven't all been in the same spot for 3-4 years at least, and before that it was at my grandparents' funerals 10 years ago. Weddings and funerals- they are a great excuse for family to come together!

It was a lovely night. We passed our phones around to show off children and grandchildren, ate fresh seafood (I may have eaten a gargantuan piece of carrot cake as well...), and tried to catch up from the last time we had seen each other. It was also nice to actually be the short one for a change- at 5'11" I am a good 4-8 inches shorter than any of my uncles :). They think it's funny that my last name is now "Little".

Today is my 39th birthday, and although I miss being away from my husband and son, having the opportunity to eat carrot cake on the beach with this side of my family was a pretty good present. Happy Birthday to me!

Day 30

196 Days....That's 4704 hours, or 6 1/2 months, or half of a year.

It's also how many days my step-son was deployed overseas for the first time. And today was day 196.

Unfortuantely, his home base is in Texas and his parents live in Ohio. Luckily, his aunt and cousins got to meet him in the airport when he first landed in America at his connecting flight, so he had waiting arms to welcome him back.

But I am sure that nothing was better than when he stepped off that plane in Texas, and got to take his wife in his arms. 196 days. That's a long time to go without hugging your wife.

I am so proud of both of them. At 22 years old and less than 2 years of marraige, they have endured the last 6 1/2 months with more grace than many people twice their age. They have a bond that is unshakeable, rooted in friendship and grown with love.

So many young men and women over the decades have left their families and homes in order to help serve their country. Now that I have had a more personal encounter with this, I understand so much better what sacrifices they have made. So to all of you that may read this, I say thank you. I know it's your job, and you technically signed up for it, but I am thankful that you did.

And to my step-son and his wife, I can only hope that you have some time alone to celebrate being together again. That is, if the dogs will leave him alone- cuz they went 196 days without hugs or kisses too ;).

Today's picture represents the sweet anticipation of a loved one returning home from service.

Day 29

The movie theatre will always be a special place for me. I worked in my town's movie theatre on summer and holiday breaks from the time I was 16 until my third year of college. It was an awesome job for a teenager, and I loved every minute. It was my first taste of independance and another chance to be out of the house- I was always a people-person and looked for any opportunity to not be cooped up inside by myself. I worked with great people, including my two best girlfriends, and several other people I went to high school with. My parents never let me spend my paychecks, instead insisting that I put all of it in my savings account for college. But for some reason that never really bothered me. I mean, what was I going to do with the money- go to the movies?

Working at the movie theatre taught me so many things:

- Customer service and how to deal with the public- something I think every young person should experience. I dealt with crazy parents who screamed at me when we sold out Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Beauty and the Beast. I dealt with lewd, drunk guys who came to the midnight shows with their buddies. I learned how to keep my calm when someone complained about the price of popcorn when we both knew I wasn't the one making the prices. And best of all, I learned how to break up couples making out in the back of the movie theatre. Oh, the stories I could tell you...

- I learned how to work hard and stay focused in chaos, ensuring a correct money count at the end of my shift. We had seven theatres, and many times only 2-4 of us worked the concession stand. You had to be fast and accurate, because of course noone gets to the movies early and they don't want to miss the previews!

- I learned how to do dirty work, cleaning public restrooms and popping popcorn in a broom closet for 8 hours a day. To this day, I cannot eat popcorn aside from a bite or two out of my husband's bucket. More than that makes me ill.

- I waded through a young woman's first entaglement with dating a co-worker, and learned many life lessons in that experience....

One of the best perks of working at the theatre was that I got to see movies for free. That's right- free! And free popcorn and soda. As an employee, I got a special card that allowed me and a guest a certain number of free passes each week. I didn't pay to see a movie for 5 years.

New movies always premier on Fridays. That means that actual movies get delivered to the theatres on Thursday nights. I loved Thursday nights. The guys would go out on the ladder after all the last movies were started and change over the marquee signs. Then, once all the customers had left, we would lock the doors like we were a secret club, go into the best theatre with pizza and beer (and popcorn of course) and watch the new movie before anyone else got to see it.

I took my son and his friend to see "47 Ronin" the other day. I figured it was a win-win situation- sword fighting for them...Keanu Reeves for me. And when the kid at the concession stand asked me if I would like to increase my drink size to a large "for just 35 more cents" I smiled politely and said,  "Of course", knowing they would be tracking how many larges he sold at the end of the night. I made sure to pick up my trash instead of leaving it in the aisle. And I made extra sure that I didn't leave any pee on the seat when I went to the bathroom that anyone else would have to clean up.

Do you remember your first real job? I hope it provides as nice of memories as mine. Except I still shudder a little whenever I see a Mutant Nina Turtle.

Today's picture represents nostalgic happiness, and the importance of learning how to work hard at a young age.

Day 28

Starting a new job can be stressful in so many ways. It reminds me of being a kid and starting at a new school. Or moving from elementary school to middle school. Will I get lost? Will I be able to perform at the level they expect? Will I remember all the new rules and expectations? Will I be a good fit with the team?

My job isn't exactly new any more, but I am definitely one of the newer kids on the block. And I have definitely gotten lost. My performance has been ok, with some expected learning curve thrown in. And as I am generally known to be a rule follower, I am doing alright in that area as well.

But am I fitting in with the team? I believe the answer is yes. How do I know that, you ask? Because they locked me in a supply room, of course.

Yes. You read that right. Last week, I was putting away some equipment in our storage room. As I tried to leave the room, I found the door seemed to be stuck and wouldn't open. I started yanking on the door. Hearing a whispering sound, I looked down to see a piece of paper sliding under the door. On it was written, "Ransom $50".

"I totally walked into that" I said to myself, smiling a little. I heard some giggling on the other side of the door, but when I opened it the hallway was magically empty. Walking to the nurses staton, I got some sideways glances and I could tell they were waiting to see how I would react. I smiled and said, " Aw wow. Thanks guys. I'm so excited-Now I feel like I'm really part of the team!" We all burst into giggles.

In our break room, we have a small bulletin board reserved to celebrate staff's birthdays. I hadn't told anyone my birthday was coming (I'm getting to that stage in my life where I don't like to call attention to the fact I am getting older. Gravity does that well enough for me without the announcement...). But someone had figured it out, and since I was the only January birthday on the unit they made  me my own bulletin board.  I know it may seem like a small gesture, but it made me smile and feel welcomed. It meant a lot.

Today's picture is about the happiness that comes from feeling like you are a part of something, and how taking time to celebrate someone else's day can mean so much.

Day 27

When I went to pick up the 10-year old from my parents' house, my mom told me she had been cleaning out her sewing room and found some of my things I had brought over to mend. They had been there a while so she wanted to know if I still wanted/needed them. She looked hesitantly at me as I reached in the bag and pulled out several scrub tops embroidered with the symbol of one of the hospitals I have worked for in the past.

In 1999, I joined a team of amazing people who dedicated themselves to taking care of people with heart disease in the Dayton area. I worked my way from step-down nurse to critical care nurse, then charge nurse, and eventually found myself in the manager's office wondering what in the hell I had gotten myself into. But I was happy. I enjoyed the work that I did, and the people I did the work with.

Don't get me wrong- it wasn't perfect. No place is.  But I went to work every day thinking I would be there until I retired, never thinking that it would ever be possible for that not to transpire. Then one day, 10 years after I first stepped through the doors, I was told that my beloved workplace had been bought by another hospital, and that we were closing our doors.

I am not too proud to say that I was absolutely devastated. Emotionally, psychologically, even physically. I was so attached to the people I worked with and the work that we did, I literally could not imagine being torn apart from them or doing anything else. I cried more than I have at any other time of my life. I drank more than I had any other time in my life. I said and thought mean and hateful things. It was the first thing in my head when I woke up and the last before I fell asleep.

In nursing school, they teach us that people work through grief and major life changes in a series of 5 stages known as DABDA-

Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance

 As a nurse, I have seen this countless times, as people learn of a new diagnosis or have a loved one die unexpectedly. But when someone told me that what I was feeling was normal and a part of the grieving process, my first reaction was, "Grieving process?! That's stupid- nobody died, for goodness sake". Huh. Can you say Denial?

It is now about 5 years later. 5 years. And that one symbol being flashed unexpectantly in my face can still bring back instant memories and emotions. But, I am happy to say that the emotion I landed on this time was happiness. I picked up the scrub top, looked at my mom and smiled. "What a great place that was".

 Acceptance. Finally. Because believe you me, I went through every stage- some of them more than once. And I know now that going through that experience has not only taught me that sometimes bad things happen, but that when they do I can pick myself up and move forward. I'm sure so many people go through things like this. I didn't take that job expecting for the hospital to close. But there are a lot of people out there who have lost their jobs unexpectedly as well. And people don't get married expecting to get divorced. Parents don't have children expecting them to die before they do. People don't expect to get cancer when they are 40. But it happens.

Everyone moves through the grieving process at their own pace. But eventually, acceptance happens for most of us. Maybe that means looking at a logo on a scrub top and being able to smile. Maybe it means coming across something that reminds us of a loved one who has passed and we don't shed tears. Or maybe it means looking at a wedding picture with your kids and being able to tell them about how there were good times before the divorce.

So if you have been through the grieving process, take a moment to congratulate yourself. Cuz getting to that second "A" isn't easy. But chances are, you will be a stronger person at the end of it.

Today's picture represents the fact that there can be light at the end of even the darkest tunnel.

Day 26

If I were to have one single food weakness in this world....it would definately be donuts. They are the most perfect food in the universe. I'm not picky either- I love them all. Glazed, cake, frosted, sprinkles, cream filled, jelly filled, fritters,....even donut holes. I. Love. Donuts.

So imagine my delight when the 10-year old informs me Friday night that Krispy Kreme offers kids a free donut for every "A" on a report card. What?! Why couldn't they have had that when I was a kid?! What motivation! Of course, he told me this while holding his report card in his hand, and wearing a grin on his face...Resigned (and secretly delighted to have an excuse to get donuts), we made plans for a Sunday morning breakfast celebrating brain power with sugar.

When we woke up this morning, it was snowing like crazy! My husband and I tossed around the thought that maybe we should just make breakfast at home this morning. But in the end we wound up bundling ourselves up and taking the truck to the town next door and the closest Krispy Kreme.

Now I am 38 years old. And there is still something mesmerizing about looking through the window at Krispy Kreme and watching all those donuts go through the assembly line and transform from lumps of dough to shiny, golden circles. I itched to put my hands on the glass...but I refrained.

Sidling up to the counter, the 10-year old proudly displayed his report card and picked out his free donuts. His father and I joined suit, and soon we were sitting at a table, huddled together with our coats still on, grinning like idots at the feast before us. "I don't know which one to eat first!" I exclaimed, giddy with just the thought of that first bite into a creme filled donut where the white stuff squirts out the side a little (don't lie to yourself- you know it's awesome).

I like to think that we are a relatively healthy-lifestyle family, and I am passionate about preventing childhood obesity. But I also firmly believe that you have to spluge now and then, or else your chances of staying on the healthy path dwindle tremendously. Also, eating protein shakes and egg whites 6 mornings a week makes a chocolate cake and creme filled donut taste just that much better!

And what a neat way for a company to give back in a small, positive way. Yes, I know, it is really mostly a marketing ploy, as we surely wound up buying more than what we got for free. And yes, I realize that they were giving away donuts and not egg white omelettes. But they don't have to do it, and for a family like ours, it was a perfect way to celebrate something special. We were the only ones in there at one point and the manager came out to our table and brought the 10-year old some free donut holes, making it a point to say he had heard his report card was all "A"s and "B"s. Good move, Mr. Manager- we'll be back.

Today's picture is about celebrating hard work with something special. Oh and did I mention that I love donuts? ;)

Day 25

Ahh....grocery shopping. One of the necessary weekend chores, along with laundry, paying the bills, and of course, going to Target. But grocery shopping is one of the things I have never minded doing- maybe because it has the term "shopping" in it. Or maybe because I get to make a list...

I also love to do a form of "people watching" at the grocery store. I am totally guilty of looking into people's carts to see what kind of food they are buying. Because what it in your cart kind of defines who you are and what is going on with your life.I always thought it would be cool to work at the check out, especially the "15 item and under" line.  Got a couple boxes of Capri Suns and bags of potato chips? Bet you are a sport parent, and it's your turn for snack. Got steak, potatoes, and a bottle of wine? Bet you are planning a romantic dinner. Got chocolate, a copy of the movie The Notebook, Advil, and Tampons? Well, we all know what that means...

A friend of mine almost ruined it for me though. She, you see, detests grocery shopping and was complaining about it one day. When I asked her why she hated it so much, she replied that it was the monotony of the chore that irked her:

1. Lift grocery from shelf and place in cart.
2. Lift grocery from cart and place on checkout counter.
3. Lift grocery from checkout counter and place in bag.
4. Lift grocery bag and place back in cart.
5. Lift grocery bag from cart and place in vehicle.
6. Lift grocery bag from vehicle and carry into house. Lift onto counter.
7. And finally, lift groceries from the bag and place in fridge or pantry.

Well. I had never thought of it that way, and when you do it sounds....monotonous.

But for some reason, even this new illumination of the task did not lower my spirits towards my every-other-week adventure into the world of "paper or plastic?".

Today I went grocery shopping. I had my list (duh), but I was in a bit more of a time crunch than most days, so I did not take my usual amount of time to browse, compare prices, etc. And as I was finishing up, I realized how lucky I was, and snapped a picture of my grocery cart.

My mom has told me stories about not having enough money to buy groceries for me and my sister. That's when she decided to go back to college and get an engineering degree. She is an avid grocery shopper and cook as well, so I am sure we both have some Freud stuff going on in that regard.

I myself can remember taking a calculator and coupon envelope to the grocery store, knowing I had $60 to spend that had to last 2 weeks with 2-4 people. I added up each item as I placed it in the cart, at times making hard decisions to put things back if I went over my mark. We didn't use credit cards, so if the money wasn't there- it wasn't there. We ate a lot of peanut butter and spaghetti, but I can't remember being unhappy at the grocery store even then. I was young and newly married, excited about having my own budget and kitchen to experiment in (and a husband to experiment on). I will never forget when I got my first paycheck as a registered nurse- I went to Meijers and wound up crying happy tears right there in the store because I realized that- if I wanted to- I could spend more than $100. I made my first fancy dinner that night, complete with the first bottle of wine I had ever purchased for myself.

As I said earlier, I was in a bit of a hurry at the grocery today, but I had another moment that almost brought tears to my eyes in the aisle again. Looking into my basket, I saw a much different array of food than when I first got married. I had organic fruits and vegetables, "expensive" toilet paper, and beer that cost more than $6 for a six-pack. I didn't really look at how much stuff cost today- just grabbed what I needed/wanted and moved along to the next aisle.

And then I saw a young woman with a calculator and coupons. And I almost cried. Not for her, you see, beacuse she didn't look sad. But happy tears, and ones of gratitude. I was humbled today, and hope that I will never lose sight of how blessed I am to have a grocery cart filled with healthy food and expensive toilet paper.

Today's picture represents gratitude and the importance of being reminded just how lucky you are.

Day 24

"So what did you do at school today?"

It's the obligitory parent line, asked a million times each night by parents everywhere. And I am no different. The 10-year old has had one holiday and 3 snow days though this week, so I was actually a bit curious as to how his day had gone. I got the usual answer- "not much, really" with an additional grumble about how much homework he has this weekend to make up for the unexpected "winter break II".

Now let me set the stage by telling you that my mom had picked up the 10-year old from aftercare today because I was working late, so I had asked the obligatory parent line in her presence...Suddenly, the 10-year old's face lit up and he said, "I can't wait to get home- it's Madden night". Perplexed, I looked questioningly at my mom. She just smirked like she had a little secret...

"What do you mean it's 'Madden night'?" I asked.

"Oh yeah Mom! Wait till I show you my list that I did at school today." My ears perked up at the word "list".

"Oh really? A list? Was this part of your school work today?"

"No, I just decided to make it up. It's a list of what video games I am going to play each day." Hearing a funny noise, I look over to find my mom trying not to giggle out loud. Obviously she had already seen this supposed list. "Imagine that, Stephanie. He made a list. I wonder where he got that from...."

Once we got home, the 10-year old proudly pulled out his list to show me, And to my delight, he has NOT made a list......he made a SPREADSHEET! Without anyone telling him to do so! I was so immediately full of pride and love that I overlooked the fact that the spreadsheet itself involved the inference that he was going to be allowed to play video games seven days a week...

By his decree, the spreadsheet now hangs on his bedroom wall, to help him stay organized and remind him of what he should be doing that day. And I ask myself- should I be proud or concerned? Oh who cares. It's Friday night, it's late, and I haven't made my TO DO list for the weekend yet. I dont' have time to worry about it :).

Happy Friday everyone. Hope you get everything checked off your list this weekend;).

Day 23

It's freaking cold outside. I mean to-the-bone- can't-get-my-fingers-warm cold outside. I take a shower at night mostly to just feel warm rather than actually feel clean (and in case you're wondering, not shaving your legs for several days unfortunately does not help you stay warm...).And my 10-year old has been out of school all week because of the frigid temperatures.

Winter. Cold and dark. No wonder people get depressed this time of year! I am reading a book right now by a triathlete coach who swears the only 2 supplements you should take are fish oil and Vitamin D if you live in a cold winter state where you don't get at least 10-15 minutes in the sun per day. That's how important sunshine is. 

I couldn't be a vampire. Aside from the whole blood-drinking/sucking thing, having to live in the dark forever would just be...depressing. Talk about Seasonal Disorder! No wonder they are cranky!

Like many other things, I have taken sunshine for granted- the whole "you don't know what you've got till it's gone" thing. But there is also the phrase- "absence makes the heart grow fonder" , which I found true this evening. As I was walking out of work, the pure fact that the sun was out (and at almost 5PM!) literally made me stop in the hallway. I'm sure I looked ridiculous, standing in the hallway bundled up like the Michelin man, grinning like a fool at the bright yellow dot low in the sky. I wanted to turn to the person next to me and say, "Look! It's the sun! It DOES exist!"

The sun was gone by the time I got home, but that little shot of brightness reminded me that it is staying light just a little bit longer each day. And before I know it, I will be able to grin like a fool at the sun from the outside of work, and not with fear that any important part of my body will freeze and break off. 

So thank you, Mr. Sunshine, for a moment of happiness and hope. Stay warm, my friends!

Day 22

I think one of the great things about getting older is that you aren't as nervous about putting yourself "out there", or acting/looking a little silly in the name of fun. 

Tonight I played a new game with the 10-year old called "Headbanz". Each player wears a headband with a card attached to it. Then another person has to act out the word that is on your card, in hopes that you will guess it. Some are simple (kangaroo) and some were much tougher (garage, pet store). But all were funny and made my 10-year old giggle in a way I never hear when he is playing video games...

Never underestimate the power of board games- they can pull a group of family or friends in and get everyone laughing before you know it. Unless, of course, you are playing Monopoly. That is serious business.

Today's picture celebrates the simple pleasure a Family Game Night can bring, and the giggles that arise from just being silly. 

Day 21

A few years ago, I attended a lecture given by a psychiatrist that centered around how we are the only one in control of our reactions and emotions. It was focused on healthcare professionals, but it was sound advice for anyone with a stressful job. She talked about how we couldn't necessarily control situations and happenings, but we CAN control how we react to them. WE are the only ones who truly contol our emotions. If you are angry, don't blame it on someone else ("they MADE me angry).- because in reality you are the only one who can make the decision to be angry, anxious, upset, or happy.

Another part of the session focused on how important it is to disconnect from work when you get home, and vice versa. This is SO true...and SO hard some days. I think certain lines of work are possibly harder to do this with than others, but everyone struggles with this now and then. I can remember getting a phone call at work that my step-son was getting transferred to Afghanastan, and another that my Grandpa had suddenly died. I still had to work just as focused and hard as before I had gotten that phone call. And I can think of countless times my family has said, "Mom- did you hear anything I just said?" because my mind was still on the patient I had cared for earlier that day or even the day before.

This psychiatrist had a simple suggestion to help: On the way to and from work every day, you should take that time to purposefully clear your mind of wherever you were and prepare it for wherever you are going. That may look differently for different people- you may need silence in the car to do this, or possibly something noisy like music.

So I turned to music. Specifically, I turned to Pink. That may suprise some people who know me, but her "Funhouse" CD was absolutely tuned in to where my life was at that point, and singing, "I'm still a rockstar" at the top of my lungs every day helped me clear my head and reset it for whatever was next to come.

But then I dicovered audiobooks. It was an accident, really. My intention was to go to the library and find an audiobook on critical care that I could listen to on the way to and from work. But, instead, I wound up picking up a Nora Robert book on audio.....and haven't listened to the radio or a music CD since.

Nora Roberts has written over 200 books. As I have mentioned before, I have issues, and one of my personal goals is to read all of her books- good thing I like them :). A lot of them are on audio, so this allows me to actually have two of her books going at one time- one in the car, and one on my nightstand! And having to focus on listening to a story line allows me to shift my brain away from wherever I am coming from, and therefore a fresh start when I exit the car.

Today's picture represents the importance of seperating work and home life. So turn up the music, sing your heart out, or get swept away by your favorite author, and allow yourself to "disconnect".

Day 20

Oh....to be a kid again. Well, at least there are parts of being a kid that I wish I could re-live, re-do, or re-peat. But I think the biggest thing that I miss is the lack of schedule and responsibilities, especially on snowy 3-day weekends like this.

Now don't get me wrong- I have a certain....fondness...for my schedules and lists. But I also know that many times they prevent me from being creative or using my imagination. I'm always plugging along on my "To Do" list, hardly straying to just soak up and enjoy life, or do something silly or unexpected.

Today the 10-year old had a friend over and, as expected, they did play electronics for a good bit of time. But suddenly, he walked out to the kitchen with nothing on but  his shirt and boxers, holding his halloween costume in his hand. This particular costume is called a "Morph suit", and reminds me of the footed pajamas toddlers wear with the addition of a headpiece that goes completely over their head.

After helping him into the suit, he disappeared back into his bedroom. Curious, I wandered back to see what mischief was being cooked up. I found both boys "suiting up" with masks, vests, and Nerf guns. They looked hilarious, but were very serious in their demeanor at that moment. So I asked, soberly, "Looks like you two are getting ready for something serious". They looked at me and said just as soberly, "Yes. We are getting ready to rob a bank". Well, of course. Silly me.

I vacated their "safe house" and let them continue to plan their assault, but took their picture when they came out into the kitchen. To the unknowing eye, it looked like Optimus Prime and a camoflouged Spiderman were getting ready to have a Nerf war. But with a little imagination, I could clearly see the 2 highly skilled and prepared bank robbers. They proceeded to go outside (yeah!) and get into my speedy get-away Honda , ambushed my husband when he got home and  drove into the driveway, and successfully relieved him of his workout bag. Unfortunately, the "bank" wasn't carrying his wallet in his bag, but overall I would say it was a success.

Later that day, I was thinking about imagination and creativity, and decided to veer from my list of things to do the rest of the afternoon. What did I do, you ask? I made cupcakes of course. And not just any cupcakes. I made chocolate fudge cupcakes, hollowed them out and stuck pieces of strawberries and marshmallow creme inside. Then I topped them with vanilla icing that I mixed with peanut butter and a little milk. Add a slice of fresh strawberry on top and....voila! Creativity, adult style. I didn't follow any certain recipe, but pulled from ideas that I had seen here and there. The result was not only an indulgent, tasty, and fun dessert, but a feeling of happiness and almost rebellion. Cuz let's face it- straying from the "To Do" list for me is definately rebellious :).

Today's picture respresents imagination and creativity, and the inspiration to just do something silly and unplanned once in a while.

Day 19

I grew up in a suburban city of Ohio that probably couldn't be considered a small town, but isn't huge either. It is considered one of the safest cities in Ohio, and has an excellent school system. After graduating from high school, I ventured off to Ohio State University for 2 years, but returned home to finish my actual degree.

Then I got married and moved to another city not too far away. I loved our "starter house" and the neighbors we had there, but eventually decided we needed more room and a better school system. We looked for months and months, and finally wound up right back where I started.

And I don't mean just in the same city that I grew up in. I literally live one street over my childhood home. We didn't plan it that way, but after walking into the house, we knew instantly that this one was going to be ours- maybe it was the location, maybe it was the full bar in the great room....

But what makes a good location? Is it really the schools, or the proximity to where you work, or the fact that the homes in that area have a good resale value? I think those are important, yes, but a good location can also be termed such due to people.

Yes, people. Neighbors. Remember those? Sometimes I think that we have become a culture that has lost the beauty of the what the term "neighborhood" really means. We get so busy in our own lives and spend less and less time outside that the beauty of being neighbors many times gets lost. And younger people today are so "plugged in" that they struggle with real communication, and I worry about whether or not they will even know HOW to be a good neighbor.

Our neighbors in our starter home were great- I can't tell you how many stories I have of sitting on porches and in driveways, drinking beer and letting the kids play. I owned a business for a time with a neighbor- we had a blast. We made the World's largest Slip and Slide one summer from tarps, a garden hose, and dish soap that ran 3 front yards long.  We wrapped each other's presents from Santa and wrote the Santa notes so it would be in a different handwriting. I would come home from a long 12-hour shift at work and a neighbor would have a cold beer and hot meal for me to eat while we talked on the porch. My step-son's best man in his wedding was a neighbor. And I got to pin a neighbor that I had watched grow up from a little girl as she graduated nursing school.

Now I live in a different neighborhood. The houses are farther apart, and there aren't big front porches for people to hang out on. But we still manage to not forget how to be neighborly. I have a neighbor down the road that has helped me multiple times with entertaining by letting me borrow tables, platters, centerpieces, etc.We were gonna go shopping last night, but wound up sitting on the couch for over 3 hours, happily talking about anything and everything. I have another nieghbor who has taken my kid to her house when he accidentally came home on the bus instead of going to daycare. And I have a neighbor across the street whose kids have grown up with my youngest son- playing in each other's yards and houses, riding the school bus together, etc. They have watched my kid when my husband had to take me to the hospital at 3 in the morning, and I have taken their oldest to the bus stop so they didn't have to wake their little one up. Because being a neighbor is more than just living close by to someone and waving when you pull out of the driveway.

Today I was out shoveling the driveway after (another) round of snow hit our area. I was just getting started when my nighbor across the street came home in his truck with his snow blower in the back. Without saying a word, he got the snow blower out of his truck and came over and started snowblowing my driveway. He stopped and we wound up talking for a quite a while to catch up. So what started out as a chore that I was not looking forward to turned into a pleasant reminder of the beauty of what a neighborhood can be.

So my picture today is of my lovely, snowless driveway. To quote one of my favorite childhood TV hosts, " It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood".

Day 18

I wear a badge to work every day. As I work in a hospital, this is not a new phenomenon, for badges have been worn in hospitals for a very long time. But the utilization of badges in other areas has skyrocketed over the last 10 years with the heightened levels of security that unfortunately are needed.

I mean, I graduated high school in 1993, and cannot imagine ever wearing a badge to school- or my teacher wearing one. But high schools commonly have both parties wearing picture IDs around their necks these days.

And think about the market that has exploded for badge holders! We have given them a fancy name- "lanyards", and they are all the rage. From sports themes, to homeade/handmade ones found at festivals, to Vera Bradley and Brighton- we love to personalize our badges to help others get a glimpse of what kind of person is behind the picture on the laminated plastic around their neck.

I don't wear a lanyard with my badge. Mostly, because I already have enough equipment hanging around my neck and it's just one more thing a confused patient can grab ahold of. But also becuase my badge DOES define who I am. Yes, it has my name and picture, along with the name of the facility I work at, but it also has the letters "RN" in huge white letters against a bright red backround.

Again, I can find dual purpose in this addition to my original badge. As a critical care nurse, many times I travel throughout the hospital to help other units in bad situations. And sometimes I am in situations with doctors and other disciplines where we have to work together seamlessly and urgently without ever having met each other before. Having "RN" on my badge allows other to immediately know what role I can provide in a situation, saving precious moments when someone's life is on the line.

But those two letters mean more than most people know. When asked what we do by someone we have just met, rarely will a nurse say, "I'm a Registered Nurse"- they simply state they are a nurse. I never though about it much till this week when a family member asked me what the "R" stood for. I smiled and told her that being "registered" meant I had passed a board examination and was licensed through the Ohio Board of Nursing to practice all that I had learned.

Ugh- the memory of taking that test and studying till 3 in the morning still makes me a little nauseated. Because let me tell you, there was no grade curves or extra credit in nursing school. You got over an 88% ....or you didn't get to move forward. It seemed harsh at the time, especially when it seemed like everyone around you in college was on a different grading scale. But the reality is noone wants a nurse to take care of them who got a 72% !

So I wear that badge with honor and without other things to distract from the core meaning it represents. Some badges don't have names or pictures on them- Police badges, girl scout badges, even letters on a high school jacket. They are symbols, of who we are and what we represent. So I wear mine without other things to distract from the core meaning. Do you wear a badge? If so, don't fall into the trap that many of us do and put it on every day like it was just underwear or some other part of your daily attire. Chances are, you worked hard for it. Wear your symbol...your badge....proudly. Don't let a lanyard define you- let the badge define you.

Day 17

So many things to be happy about tonight:

- It's Friday night.

- The first Transformers movie is on ( "Left cheek! Left cheek! Left cheek!").

- There was leftover pizza in the fridge.

- And I have poured Mike's Hard Black Cherry Lemonade over Smirnoff Vodka.

- Yeah. You heard me right. Liquor over liquor.

Tomorrow's pic will probably be a bottle of Advil, but I am gonna celebrate the fact that a long week is over with Bumblebee, Papa John, and Mike tonight. 

At the risk of sounding like a cliche- TGIF!

Day 16

A couple of years ago, my son got invited to go to the Lego store in Cincinnatti with a friend of his. Now, for any of you that do not have young boys, let me tell you- Legos are the Barbies of boyworld. And I don't mean just to the kids. Both have tons of different types out there with different outfits, accessories, etc. And the majority of kids lose interest in that Lego Set or Barbi well before you feel your $30-40 was well-spent. They then live on a shelf, in a drawer, or possibly in a Mastiff's stomach...

So, I sent my elated son to Cincinatti with $40 in his pocket, knowing that I would be lucky to get back any change.

He arrived home that evening as suspected, with nary a penny to his name. But to my delight and suprise, he produced a small Lego figure from his pocket and presented it to me. "I saw this and thought of you, Mom. So I bought it for you". Looking closer, I realized the minute figurine was a representation of some sort of medical personell. The clothing and apparel were a bit generic- it could have been a doctor, radiology tech, surgery tech, cath lab technician, or any other number of people, but of course my son saw it as a nurse.

The fact that he spent money that could have been used toward a bigger Lego set on me left me a bit gooey, I'll admit. It's one of the smallest gifts I've gotten, and one of the most cherished. It has a place of honor on my desk, right next to my computer screen. That way, I can easily see it, and be reminded that my son loves me and knows even at a young age how much nursing is a part of who I am.

Today's pic depicts a son's love, and how a small gesture of kindness can last a very long time.

Day 15

A short one today- I promise :)

I actually took this pic last weekend when the snow finally melted away. Snow can be pretty, but usually only for the first day or so. Then it tends to turn into the mushy, grey stuff on the side of the road that just looks dirty.

Not only was I happy to see the snow melt away, I was suprised at how green my grass was underneath. Minus, of course, the spots that will forever be dead due to the dogs having particular areas they like to "visit".

This is the time of year that I really struggle with, and I know I am not alone. It's cold every day, and it's dark when I go to work and come home. So I took this pic to remind me that among the grey, dingy, and dirty there is sunshine and green grass out there, even when you can't see it. I peek at it about once a day, to keep me motivated and remind me that spring will come (in 63 days, 14 hours, and 5 minutes if you were wondering..).

Come on Spring!

Day 14

I have always loved animals. The foot of my bed was always filled with stuffed replicas of different shapes and sizes (but lined up according to height and color of course...;)). I had very few pets growing up- a goldfish here and there won at the school fair, and a big white bunny named Marshmallow when I was about 5 or 6. I had, and continue to struggle with, a pretty severe allergy to cats , and our family lifestyle with 2 working parents and active children  just didn't work out to have a dog.

But that didn't stop me from loving them from afar. I filled my need for animal interaction by going to horsebacking riding camp and  "critter camp" every summer, and emjoying the animals at my friends' houses when I would spend the night. I can still remember my high school boyfriend's parents making the comment that they suspected their black lab loved me more than them!

There are so many movies and TV shows that portray animals, especially dogs, as having personalities and the ability to communicate. From Wiley Coyote to Pluto and Goofy, Scooby Doo, Underdog, Astro, Droopy,....the list goes on and on Now, I do have issues with how and why a sponge and a starfish have been able to capture audiences for so many years, but I think I do at least see how dogs have shone in the spotlight. Dogs are expressive and interactive, making it seem perfectly natural to have them actually talk with us. I mean, how many of us can honestly say they haven't caught themselves talking to their dog like they were a human?

There is a secret part of me (well, not so secret anymore, I guess) that still wants to believe in that childish hope that dogs can actually talk. I imagine them acting like the toys in Toy Story, talking and laughing with each other about the silly humans when we aren't around. When the dog in the movie "Up" wore a device that vocalized his thoughts I was thrilled, and the term, "Squirrel!" remains one of my favorites and most used.

I stopped at the store on my way home from work  today, and happened to look over at the truck parked next to me. To my delight, a boxer was perched in the driver's seat, and the expressive facial expressions he went through while looking back at me had me grinning. I actually took several photos of him, each depcting a slightly different slice of personality, but settled on this one. I encourage you to tell me what you think he is thinking, and what words would come out if he had one of those cool little boxes like the dog in "Up". My guess is, "What? Why don't you take a picture? It lasts longer" :).

Today's picture reflects a dog's uncanny ability to make people smile, and the mystery of wondering just what they are thinking behind those cute, expressive faces.

Day 13

Well, today was one of those days. It was one of those days that before I started this blog, I would have just come home, made a stiff drink , then gone to bed. I mean- why waste time thinking through and rehashing a bad day?

- I woke up late. This was further compounded by a crisis with the 10-year old concerning underwear. Apparently, he didn't have any clean boxers, and briefs make his "ball sack feel funny". As I do not own a ball sack, I didn't feel I had much room for argument, and helped him search through the clean laundry baskets for a pair of boxers.
- My husband called me on my way to work to tell me they had lost both a 12-year old and a suicide last night.
- Our staffing at work was all messed up, making assignments and the beginning of everyone's shift chaotic.
- Our patients are so much sicker right now- my Respiratory Therapist friend calls it "stupid busy'. This keeps every nurses' workload high, leaving less room for staff nurses to help each other. So I forgoed my slated afternoon office work. Instead, I started and took out IVs, inserted tubes into stomachs, gave a bath, answered call lights, started IV drips, and talked with a family about how we would go about removing life support since their loved one was now declared to be brain dead.
- Two patients that I am quite fond of just are not progressing like I would like them to, despite excellent care. Both have taken backward steps, and I had to speak with their families today.
- I got home 2 hours later than usual, with work to do since I missed out on office time and have a meeting at 7:30 that I need to prep for.
- Due to getting home late, my 10-year old missed his basketball practice. Again.

Yeah- and it's only Monday.

But once I sat down and made myself search for the positive among all of the above, I discovered it really was there.

It was in the comment made by the patient who I helped bathe and said how it felt so good to get lotion put on his legs and feet and feel clean.
It was in the way that my husband seemed to be almost waiting to tell me about his shift, knowing I would listen and understand what it was like to lose people you work so hard to save, at the same time rubbing my shoulders without asking to help ease away the tension from my own day.
It was in the way that I DID see staff help each other when they could, making sure patients still got turned and no nurse was alone when a new admit came or a patient had an acute event.
It was in the way several patients and family members today went out of their way to tell me about the nurses that they have come to love, and how they couldn't thank us enough for what we do.
And it was in the way that my 10-year old, ball sack and all, kissed me good night and told me, "I love you".

I have had several people who read my blog tell me about how they keep similar journals and/or daily reflections to help remind them at the end of the day what to be grateful for. I haven't written anything personal down every day since my "Annie" (as in The Sun'll Come Out..) diary back in about....3rd grade. I am so glad I have started.

Today's pic is of my blog. Because today, it prevented me from wallowing in self-pity and Vodka. My liver is thankful, but so is my heart. One of my friends said it so well- some days you have to look with intention for something positive, but chances are, if you do, you will find it.

Day 12

Five days a week, I go to work and see people who have made choices through their life that lead them to a hospital bed and scar down their chest. Talk about an incentive to be healthy! When in the hospital gym on the treadmill one evening, a cardiothoracic surgeon asked me why I was running so long. I smiled and told him that although I respected him, there was no way in hell he was ever gonna see me naked. We both laughed, but I still have nightmares about having open heart surgery, where the people I have to work with every day would have to see me naked, makeup-less, and in pain. Did I mention that they would have to see me naked?!

But how do you motivate kids these days to make healthy choices? Especially when they are surrounded by video games, fast food, and it's 30 degrees outside?

I did a paper in college on childhood obestiy, with a focus on the community I live in. I was suprised, saddened, and intrigued by what I found and it has helped motivate me to really try and protect my child from the lifelong battle that obesity can be. I discovered that childhood obesity was as prevalent in middle-to-upper class towns as it was in the inner-most cities, although for different reasons. Inner-city kids have less access to grocery stores and fresh food, as well as a lower overall income in which to pay for that food. I can still remember being in the pediatric rotation of nursing school and watching kids come out of an elementary cafeteria with what seemed like a mound of food on their trays. When I asked the school nurse why these kids seemed to get so much more food than what I remembered from my own school days, she responded that this meal was the only one that most of these kids would get all day. She said, on average, at least 20 parents would call the school on snow days and ask if they could still pick up their school lunch for their kid(s).

Suburbanites don't typically fight these battles, yet have their own. Most homes where I live have households with multiple children and both parents work, and many are also single-parents without huge support systems. Those children have activities and sports, which makes it much harder for parents to have home cooked meals with fresh food, especially after working all day. So parents turn to fast food and/or convenient food many nights of the week. The reality is, it's faster and cheaper to feed your family from the "Dollar Menu" at McDonalds than it is to buy and prepare a healthy, home-cooked meal.

And don't even get me started on breakfast or lunch. Breakfast for many kids is a pop-tart, donut, or sugary cereal. I observed lunchrooms of all ages in my city and was disappointed to see that the school-prepared lunches were disparingly lacking in true nutrition, and kids had plenty of options to buy extras such as cookies, rice krispie treats, ice cream, etc. Peer pressure was apparant as well, with younger kids only wanting to pack "cool" things like Little Debbies and potato chips and the older kids not wanting to pack at all, succumbing to whatever "nutritional" lunch the school provided or worse yet- not eating at all.

Ok, Ok, I am stepping down from my soap box, but I think you get my point. I decided that if I wanted my kid to be healthy both  now and in the future, I was responsible for planting that seed as his parent. My husband and I have always lived a relatively healthy lifestyle, but we have made it a point to talk out loud about it (why we eat wheat bread instead of white, why we drink water instead of pop, etc), teaching and hopefully preventing a scar from ever gaining a place on his chest.

Today I had to really talk myself into going to the gym. It was my swim day, and I had every mental excuse in my head you can think of- it's cold out and I don't want to get in the cold water, I forgot to shave my armpits before I left, etc. But I went. And about 3/4 of the way through a hard session I realized how good I felt- and strong. Talk about endorphins. So I went home and told the 10-year old about it. How sometimes it's the hardest thing just to get started, but the feeling of accomplishment once it's over is great. Later in the day we went to the movies, and as we pulled in the driveway he said, "Mom, I think I'm gonna run around the block before I go inside". Our block is 1/2 mile, and we've been talking about how he needs to build up to 1 mile for his triatholons this summer. So, I told him to pace himself and that it was gonna probably suck a little cuz he hasn't run much (or at all) lately, but that he should just concentrate on moving forward, even if he needed to walk- just don't stop. I stayed in the driveway and timed him, and snapped his picture as he was coming back up the road. He was sweaty, flushed, and winded- but he was smiling. "I made it all the way around without stopping, Mom. You were right- it sucked. But I feel great".

So my Positive Pic on this lazy Sunday is about the power of parenting, the importance of role modeling for your children, and the happiness and pride that results. Show them, teach them- they are listening!

Day 11

The term "Boys will be boys" is one that all of us have heard. It's used from the time they are toddlers and want nothing to do with any toy that doesn't have wheels on it, through middle school when fights and detentions become a reality, to young adulthood where boys tend to get speeding tickets, leave their clothes on the floor, and break girls' hearts. We even still use the phrase well past the point when they are "boys"- when the grown men in our lives buy over-sized trucks, power tools, have strippers at bachelor parties, and continue to leave their damn clothes on the floor...

But why do we not say, "Girls will be girls" quite nearly as often? Maybe because although the image of what boys do and say has not changed significantly over the years, I think that the world has changed immensly for girls, and the girls have changed with it.

Look at sports, and music, and fashion over the  years. Although things have changed for males in this area, the pace of change for women has been extraordinary. Choices for sports for girls used to consist of cheerleading and....well, cheerleading. Which, I'm sorry, was not a sport back then. Now cheerleading today takes amazing strentgh, coordination, discipline, and endurance- definately sport-worthy! And girls can literally play almost any sport out there that boys can- every year you hear about more girls infiltrating football, hockey, etc., and there are thousands of regular teams and programs in the traditional sports of basketball, softball, volleyball, etc that are female-only. Girls have so many choices and role models now compared to many years ago. They can choose from Pink to Beyonce to Faith Hill and can wear Polo or Betsy Johnson clothing. They can look up to female politicians, not just the First Lady or business women instead of "trophy wives".

My 10-year old son had his first basketball game today. There was a game running before ours, so we waited in the hallway for it to finish. What you can't see so clearly in today's picture was that the game before ours was a girls' game. And they were good. Good enough to have 4 boys stop talking to each other and start watching- they'd lean towards one another every once in a while and say something like, "Geez she must be 5'7"- did you see that rebound?".

So today's picture made me smile for two reasons:

1. Boys will be boys, and that's ok. At 10-11 years old, it is a little fun to watch them start to make the transition with girls from "cooties" to "cuties". I think this picture captures that well- they didn't complain about having to stand there and watch a bunch of cute, athletic girls run around.

2. Girls can be anything they want to be. I love to see young ladies out there playing hard, sweating, working together, and even being aggressive. This will help them so much in so many ways as they grow up. I am so glad that my children, both girl and boys, have grown up in a time where girls have these opportunities.

Day 10

For those of you who know me, this will not come as much of a suprise----I have issues with liking things in their place, being neat and tidy, and matching (or "matchy-matchy" as one of my best friends calls it). My socks are color-coded in their drawer, I fight a daily war against clutter in my house, my patients' rooms were always tidy and their blankets neatly folded across them on the bed (yes, I'm one of THOSE nurses), and I just don't feel right if my jewelry doesn't match or my shoes don't match my handbag. Already, those of you close to me are thinking, "Oh yeah, that's her all right!".

They say self-recognition is the first step towards recovery. Sometimes I feel that my incessant need for tidiness, order, and matching prevents me from being as efficient, relaxed, and even fashionably trendy as I would like to be. So, this week I did an experiment to see if I could make progress towards loosening up a bit in some of these areas.

I didn't really plan to test the waters of my insanity, but an opportunity arose that I decided to grab ahold of. Last Sunday night, I painted my nails a very pale pink with a touch of sparkle (because Sunday night is "nail night", just like Tues, Thur, and Sat are "eyebrow tweezing nights", etc...). On my very last nail, the dog came in and placed his head on my lap, causing me to accidentally bump and smudge my pretty pink thumb.

Now, of course my first reaction was, "Great, now I'm gonna have to take all those layers of pink and clear polish off and start over". No- to be honest my first reaction was to call my beloved Mastiff who only wanted some love and affection....well, a name that did not display love and affection. His poor, dejected look made me stop and think about how silly I was being to overreact that way over a stupid painted thumbnail.

So I told myself that the world was NOT going to end if I went all week with a small smudge on a nail- in fact, I doubted anyone would even notice. In fact, I decided that I was going to purposefully leave it in place all week just to prove a point to myself- get over it, things do NOT have to be perfect.  And even thought the little Monk on my shoulder gave me grief for the first 24 hours or so, I am happy to report it is now Friday and my smudged thumbnail remains.

I know it may sound silly to you that I had to coach myself into being ok with something so miniscule. And...you'd be right. But, I run full disclosure on my OCD issues, and hope that this was a first step of many towards a less rigid, tidy, and matchy-matchy life. Who knows what I will try next? Maybe brown shoes with a black purse. Or maybe I'll leave my dirty clothes on the floor overnight. Or maybe I'll even put a pair of socks and t-shirt in the load of laundry usually reserved only for towels and linens! Maybe.

And as small as my struggle may be, I know there are plenty of people out there who struggle with all sorts of personal "issues" that they are fighting to be better at, recover from, or maybe just learn how to live with. But even if it's one fingernail at a time, keep up the fight, my friends- you can do it!

Today's Positivity Pic symbolizes  self-improvement, and celebrates the milestones we make, no matter how small, towards meeting a goal.

Day 09

Today my husband returned to work after having almost 3 weeks off. And that, my friends, is where my positivity story for the day begins.......

Odd, you may think, to be happy about your husband returning to work after having him home for so long. And yes, I admit I kept my phone with me all evening, waiting for him to call and talk with me about how each others' day went. But am I sad that he isn't here? No.

My husband is a firefighter. That means he works for 24 straight hours at the firehouse, then is home for the next 48 hours. This cycle repeats itself, despite weekends, holidays, and other important events. We met 18 years ago in the firehouse (I was an EMT/firefighter before I was a nurse), so this type of lifestyle has always just been part of who we are as a couple. When you take on a career in public service- firefighting, nursing, police work, etc.- you know there always has to be someone there to "take the call".

Sometimes I hear my friends talk about their significant other having to go on a business trip, or they split up for whatever reason after many years. They talk about struggles with sleeping alone, getting the kids to soccer practice, learning how to pay the bills or fix the faucet. And this makes me see how I have had the best of both worlds, and my husbands' absence every 48 hours has been a blessing in disguise.

I have learned that there is difference between being lonely and being alone. I don't wish loneliness on anyone, and have always been the type of person who can't stand for someone not to feel included, cared for, or left out. But I do think that everyone should be alone now and then, and learn how to be ok with it. You may be suprised at what you discover about yourself.

Here are some positive things I enjoy when alone:

1. Eating a tomato on bread with a glass of wine for dinner.
2. Eating an entire Ben and Jerry's ice cream container in one sitting for dessert without anyone seeing or knowing.
3. SHOPPING!!!
4. Running around the house nude. No, that's a joke. But I bet you smiled :)
5. Cleaning the house at night without the noise bothering my husband or son.
6. Leaving the light on next to my bed at night or playing on my IPad as long as I want without keeping anyone but myself awake.
7. Having an entire 24 hours with my son all to myself
8. Sleeping absolutely sprawled out everywhere on my king-sized bed

I've also discovered I can handle situations alone- from spider killing to yard work to flooded basements. And let me tell you- being a single-parent just once every third day has given me a respect for full-time single-parenting that some people may never understand.

So today's picture is about the pleasure of only turning down one side of the bed, and how being alone can actually be a postivie thing.

Day 08

Chances are, you have one. One of those  friends who has the knack for finding just the right gift. There's no generalized gift card or bottle of wine here. Their gifts are personalized, thoughtful, and never sit on a shelf gathering dust somewhere. 

A few weeks before Christmas, I had a conversation with a friend at work about the cold weather and the havoc it was causing on my skin. She told me about a type of lotion that she recommended, but of course I could never remember the name of it when in the store. Sure enough, Christmas came along and I received a big tub of Cereve lotion wrapped prettily with a bow. No, it wasn't Bath and Body Works or a bottle of wine,and it's packaging is almost medicinal- but I use it every night cuz it's AWESOME and makes me smile and think of how lucky I am to have a friend who thought to give this to me every time I open the jar. 

Today's pic is a tribute to the battle against winter skin, and friends who take the time to pick out something "just perfect" and fulfilling the true meaning if giving gifts. 

Day 7

I was helping my 10-year old clean out his bookbag since he is (finally!) returning to school tomorrow after an extended holiday break. To my suprise, I found a project that he had done at the beginning of the school year to help other people get to know him. It had a picture of him, what his favorite activity, class at school, movie,  and food was, as well as where his favorite family vacation was (Disneyworld, of course). But one section caught my eye and brought a smile to my face- the one labeled "Meet My Hero". Now I know he has many heroes- including Batman, the guys from his video games, Wall-E, etc. But instead of picking a fictional character, my young son clearly named his older brother. I had concerns about the age difference between the older two children when we got pregnant with the 10-year old- 12 years is a big gap. But time and time again all three of the kids have proven we had nothing to worry about, as they have always been closer than I could ever have hoped.
That aside, the 10-year old made me stop and think about the word "hero". What truly constitues hero status, and who is mine? At 10 years old, my son was able to fill that slot with a real, living person- one who doesn't have super powers or is able to regenerate themselves with a push of a control button. And he could even explain why his brother earned the status- again, not because he takes him places, or plays with him, but "because he never lets me down." I am a bit ashamed to admit that the security question to one of my online accounts is, "who is your childhood hero?" and my answer is.....Wonder Woman. Not Mom, or Rosa Parks, or even Florence Nightengale. Huh. Shown up by a 10-year old.
So I am not going to retire my Wonder Woman workout t-shirt or beer glass, but I am gonna down-grade her from hero status. Who will fill her slot? Not sure yet, but she is gonna be real and, well, awesome of course. So I ask you- who's your hero amd why? And if you don't have one, take a few minutes to think about it- having someone to look up to or know is a rock by your side is invaluable and can help get you through the hard times that unfortuantely none of us can avoid 100% of the time.
Today's positive picture is about the power and bond of brothers, as well as a mother's/step-mother's pride in 2 of her children.

Day 06

What's so great about a bowl of soup? I will tell you...I didn't make it.
I work Monday thru Friday and try to work out 5-6 days per week. That means I'm rarely home before 6 PM. A couple of years ago, my husband just sort of gradualy slid into the role of cook at our home. He has been the cook at the firehouse for years (he's a firefighter), but I struggled to let go of this at home as I really do enjoy cooking. But, the reality is that my husband and son like to eat before 7 PM and I'm usually too exhausted to put effort into making a healthy meal. So my wonderful husband has learned to master the crockpot and other cooking skills in order for them to eat before it's dark out and for me to have a hot meal to come home to.

  And although we don't technically eat dinner together many nights during the week, they are great about sitting at the table with me while I eat, telling me what they did that day and asking me about mine. So today I am thankful to have a husband who supports both my career and healthy (ok, healthier...)lifestyle goals- and can cook a mean white chicken chili!

Day 04

I never tire of weddings or baby showers. They are filled with such happiness. Today I had the pleasure of watching one of my friends exchange vows. So today's picture is about love, and lifelong commitment. Congrats to the newlyweds, but my wish is for everyone out there who has taken vows to take a moment and remember the day they did so and danced their first dance as husband and wife.

Day 3

Today I am thankful for road trips with girlfriends. Nothing like it!

Day 05

Public libraries have been in America since the 1870's. I have been visiting this particular one since I was in the third grade. I grew up in its children' section (remember summer reading programs?), then progressed to the "teen" section ("I must-I must- I must increase my bust"), and finally into the main library.  It has seen me through summer vacations, being grounded from TV, and countless High School and college

projects. The library has grown and changed with me- from Microfish and Brittanica to the Internet and audio books. It has given me much more than I have given it, and I have enjoyed bringing my own children here and seeing what treasures we can find. I still go every week, despite owning both a Nook and IPad. There is something about holding a book in my hand that is just more satisfying, and I love the sense of community it makes me feel. Before there was Google- there was the library. I hope it continues to give generations after me what I have enjoyed- knowledge, quiet, discovery, entertainment, and escape. If you haven't been to your local library lately, you really should give it a try- I am always amazed at how much money people will spend on things u can borrow for free!!

Day 2

I was going to post a pic of the winter wonderland outside, because it really is pretty. But the honest truth is...I do not like the cold and snow! So today I am grateful for having a home with heat. This time last year we were not so lucky, surviving on space heaters and electric blankets. And of course, there are many who do not have the luxury of having one of these glow-in-the-dark boxes.

Day 1

Day 1

"So God made a dog" is spot on (no pun intended). They are happy to run miles by my side, or curl up in bed on a cold and snowy day. Having not grown up with dogs, I can't imagine my life now without them. #mansbestfriendindeed