Sunday, August 31, 2014

Day 243

As a disclaimer I will warn you that today's post is long. Mostly, because today's post is honestly for me more than anyone else. It's a post I want to be able to look back on and remember how I felt and what I did. It's not often that I admit out loud that I am proud of myself. It's not in my nature, and I find it much easier to praise others than accept a compliment or celebrate a personal success.

Today is not one of those days.

Today, I am taking a few moments to bask in personal pride. Not because I was the best at anything or accomplished some amazing feat that no one else has done. But purely because I reached a personal goal that required no one else but me to reach. 

The alarm clock went off at 5 AM this morning, and for once I jumped out of bed without hitting the snooze. After donning my racing outfit and eating my oatmeal laced with chia seeds, I packed up my gear and headed towards my first sprint-distance triathlon.

It was pitch black when I arrived, and it started to rain just as I pulled into the parking lot. What started as a sprinkle quickly turned into a steady rain by the time I had walked my bike and gear to the registration booth. Luckily, I had thought about rain and packed my raincoat, a trash bag, umbrella, and rain poncho . What I didn't pack were extra towels....

I set up my transition area and covered it with the trash bag and poncho, hoping to keep my socks and shoes dry. I kept my sweatshirt and raincoat on till the last possible moment, but eventually it was time to head down to the water. It was downright pouring at this point, and my bike shorts and tank top were not much protection from the rain. I kept trying to tell myself that I was going to get wet in the lake anyways, but the cold had me shivering with goosebumps everywhere.

Ok, I admit the shivering may not have been entirely from temperature. I was scared out of my mind. As I looked down the beach at the buoys I had to swim around, my confidence was fading fast. And how was I going to ride a bike in this crap? This was supposed to be my shining moment, and instead I was scared and contemplating whether or not I should even start the race.

Then I heard my name. Turning around, I saw one of my girlfriends walking towards me with her umbrella in one hand, and a sign that read, "Go Steph Go" in the other. 

I immediately burst into tears. 

I couldn't believe that she had come out this early in such crappy weather- and made a SIGN- just to support me. Well then she started crying, and everyone was looking at us like we were crazy, but I really didn't care. Now I knew I would race and do my best, because there was no way in hell she was not going to see me finish.

The swim was marked off by several buoys along the way, so I concentrated on each individual buoy, instead of the one at the end. Which was working splendidly until I got a good rhythm going and forgot to check my placement for a while. You see, there are not lines at the bottom of the lake like there is in a pool, and you can't even see 6 inches in front of you. At one point, I looked up and actually saw people swimming towards me- it took a moment for me to realize I had swum so far off course that I was now in the return lane. 

Shit.

In the end, I am sure that little mistake cost me valuable minutes (not to mention energy), but I made it to the finish line without having to touch the bottom at all- an improvement already from my last race. My goal had been to get out of the water under 20 minutes, and my watch was reading 20:15. Not bad. 750 meters, or about 40 laps in the pool- done. 

Now to run from the beach back up to the transition area for my bike. And I literally mean run up- the water was downhill from the parking lot. My girlfriend was already at transition, clapping and cheering as I donned my bike gear. The trash bag had worked and my socks were dry, so off I went for my 12 mile bike ride.

The rain had tapered off while we were in the water, but now mother nature was ready to really give us a challenge. It poured almost the entire way, with visibility and skidding being an issue I did not have much experience with. At one point I was afraid I had missed my turnaround point due to visibility, but I eventually found my yellow arrow on the ground that told me I was going the right way. Whew. 

As I have mentioned before, the bike is my weak area. Ok, it's my weakest area... At all of my previous races (all three-whoohoo), I had faltered both on the bike and the first part of my run. Today, all the practice with changing gears on my bike and doing "brick" runs (bike ride then straight to running) paid off. I had also altered my fueling plan as far as when to use my gels, what kind, and how many. 

I came back into transition still going strong on my bike, mostly because I had stuck with my plan on pacing (previously I had just gone super-hard the whole way and about killed myself). Off with the bike helmet- on with my favorite running hat, then back out onto the course again, with my girlfriend once again cheering my name from the sideline. She had been joined by another friend of mine whose husband was also racing, and I blew them kisses and actually had a smile on my face as I hit the pavement.

Almost there. 

This was the crucial point for me in all my previous races. Running is the hardest on the body of the three sports, and I have never come out of the bike portion without sucking serious wind for the first mile. I had actually had to walk for a minute earlier this year just to get under control.

Not today. I hit my race pace strong from the start, and the realization that I wasn't ready to keel over motivated me even more. I don't know if it's a good or bad thing that my body is now used to running under duress, but what used to feel like torture truly felt like a normal workout. Before I knew it, I was halfway done and still had energy- not tons of energy for sure, but I knew I could get back without walking- another of my goals for today.

At about 2 1/2 miles in, I kept my pace steady and concentrated on my mental tricks (counting and taking turns focusing on different portions of my form) so that I wouldn't give in to Exhaustion. Because that bitch was sneaking up on me fast. The last mile was relatively uphill, and I focused on just putting one foot in front of the other.

Soon I could hear music and the announcer, which meant the end was near if not in sight. I literally started talking to myself (isn't that I a sign of delirium?)- "Come on Stephanie. You can do this. God damn I'm tired--- crap no! Come on Steph!"

And there it was. The finish line. I'm not sure if it was because I wanted to truly finish strong, or if I just wanted it to be over- but I sprinted as hard as I could to the end. 

Then I bent over at the waist and concentrated really hard on not throwing up.

Hands on my knees, sweat pouring off my forehead, I looked to the left and saw my "GO Steph GO" sign. One hour and 48 minutes that girl waited for me. "You did it!" she yelled at me. I smiled through part sweat and part tears.

Yeah. I did. I'll be damned.

I finished fifth out of 10 women in my age group, with the next three women faster than me all within 3 minutes of each other (damn swim...). I had met my goal of finishing under 2 hours and not being last, and had even run by best 5k ever at just over 29 minutes. 

But today was not about numbers. Today was about so much more than that. It was about reaching a goal in which I had sacrificed family time, food, social activities, and of course sweat for. It was about not giving up when it was pouring rain and I had swam completely off course. And it was about how friendships that support you through thick and thin are a blessing that I am so fortunate to have. So today's pic represents crossing the finish line without throwing up. The only thing left to do now is decide what my goals are for next season...

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